I’ve always thought of myself to be really good with distance. It’s always been easy for me to respect other peoples space even when they don’t ask for it. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been used to distance. The majority of my close friends don’t live near me (even when I’m stable in one place) and since college, for the most part, I’ve always lived away from my family. However, despite the miles between us all, I’ve never really felt alone or that I never had anyone close to me. I guess what I’m trying to get at is, that I believe, that distance is more than just space between us.

When we first hear the word distance, our dictionary thought is “far away”, “avoiding something”, “detachment/separation”.

I like distance, but it can be cowardly. Some people use distance to avoid others, because they’re not mature enough to handle whatever situation they’ve created themselves. And although separating yourself from a situation can sometimes have a positive outcome, it all depends on the way you go about it… and on the scenario. But distance can also be empowering. It can feel like freedom and relaxation. Like when you’re on vacation away from your everyday stresses and not a thing in the world can bother you or tell you to get up and be productive.

For many reasons, it’s sucked not being in Puerto Rico the past couple of weeks. Because of life, I didn’t get to see The Queen before I left. The Viking had a terrible accident and I could only be there through video calls and text messages. And lastly, I missed celebrating Monica Puig’s Olympic Gold Medal with my island. The sad side of distance is that I wasn’t there. And while the side of me that is caring and coughSELFISHcough, really wishes I could be, the bright side of distance is that I’m not there. You see, as shitty as distance can be in some situations, it can also be a beautiful thing.

It all boils down to our perception of distance.

I go through a lot of feelings whenever I chose to go somewhere new and leave others behind, but the main ones are usually; Excitement and Nervousness – excited about all the new experiences I’ll have, people I’ll meet, memories I’ll make, and starting a new life. Nervous about whether or not I’ll meet people and actually like it in this new place, and if I actually made the right decision. And between all of the excitement and nervousness, other feels creep in… of being selfish, feeling guilty, and feeling responsible – for enjoying myself, for living the way I’ve chosen to and not how others think I should, for other people feeling sad, for not having more time to spend before I leave, for making there be space between us.

But then I stop. And I remember that it’s just physical distance. All the real love, the true love, that is shared between family and friends is never too far to hug and hold.

I believe that it’s possible to be close to someone and feel them within your soul, just as if they were lying in your arms. Sometimes in absence we learn to truly appreciate others value. Distance separates bodies, not hearts.

mangó