How many times in the last month have I heard “Why are you single?” Even my dentist asked me. MY DENTIST! I mean…. come onnnnnn.

So here’s a list –

I’m sarcastic – I’m kind – I’ll call you on your bullshit – I’m pretty – I’m independent – I’m tough – I’m confident – I’m insecure – I’m an excellent 3rd, 5th, 7th (and so on) wheel – I’m not needy – Pizza, tacos, and donuts – No bra and flip flops – Bikinis and backwards hats – I own a squatty potty – I love to snuggle – I love dogs – I’ve been traveling for a while – I’m a total pushover when it comes to love

I’d like to also be able to say that I choose to be single, because to a certain extent it’s true. But that doesn’t mean that I want to be single forever. People are always saying that I should have a boyfriend because I’m “beautiful and super fuckin cool.” I know I am, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to find someone to be with for the long haul.

I recently read the following, I only put some parts of the chapter in, but it really made sense.

**Book and author listed at the end of blog**

“Consumer culture is very good at making us want more, more, more. Underneath all the hype and marketing is the implication that more is always better. I bought into this idea for years. Make more money, visit more countries, have more experiences, be with more women. But more is not always better. In fact, the opposite is true. We are actually often happier with less. When we’re overloaded with opportunities and options, we suffer from what psychologists refer to as the paradox of choice. Basically, the more options we’re given, the less satisfied we become with whatever we choose, because we’re aware of all the other options we’re potentially forfeiting.

Commitment gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the unimportant and frivolous. Commitment gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy. Commitment makes decision-making easier and removes any fear of missing out; knowing that what you already have is good enough, why would you ever stress about chasing more, more, more again? Commitment allows you to focus intently on a few highly important goals and achieve a greater degree of success than you otherwise would.

…depth is where the gold is buried. And you have to stay committed to something and go deep to dig it up. That’s true in relationships, in a career, in building a great lifestyle— in everything.”

So, to these men that always ask me why I’m single, these 30 and 40 year olds whom love to pass judgment – Continue dating your 20 year olds and thinking because you can bang a different hot young chick whenever you want, that you’re the man. You do realize that this is what kids in college are doing everyday, don’t you? You’re not cool. Grow up. If the grass is always greener, you’ll forever be alone. When you find a dope ass chick, water the grass and quit being such a loser. You’re missing out. But until you actually know that, get bent. Don’t come around until you’re ready to make terrible, horrible, no good decisions with one person for the rest of your life.

And for those that always tell me that it’s easier for women to find men than it is for men to find women.

That’s not true –

A man walks into a bar filled with women. 80% of the women in that bar are willing to give him a chance and get to know him. A woman walks into a bar filled with men. 100% of those men only want to have sex with that woman. Now I know that I’m generalizing, because sure there probably is ONE guy in the whole entire bar that wants to get to know you (unfortunately he was in the bathroom when you walked in, didn’t feel well and left early that night) but I was told once that I was the type of girl that guys want to have fun with, not the type that they want to marry. When I asked why that was, the answer was because guys want a girl that’s easier. As in less of a challenge, not as intimidating, not as accomplished. Because they don’t want to feel like they’re less than anyone, because they’re the man. And a woman can make a man feel powerful when he’s with her, because he’s with a beautiful accomplished woman, so he can walk around with her and be like, “Look how amazing I am, this girl wants me!” This will attract the attention of other girls and when the young and dumb and easy to manipulate with illusions girl comes along, they can control her/the relationship.

Make sense?

Good.

That’s why I’m single.

No. The truth is, that’s a question that seems impossible to answer. Seriously, how do you answer that question? I really don’t know, but I’m also not losing sleep over it.

Lastly, people, pleaseeeeee STOP treating me as if I’m upset that I’m single. “You’ll meet the one/When it’s meant to be it’ll happen.” Blah, blah, blah, burp. I’m fine. A lot of you know me, you know I rule and I don’t need anyone by my side to do so. So stop making it sound sad and trying to make me feel better about it, when I really have no problem at all.

Love,

Mangó

p.s. You KNOW this is a two part blog, because “Why are you single?” is always followed by, “But it’s getting kind of late for you to have a baby…”

Stay tuned.

**Manson, Mark (2016-09-13). The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (p. 189). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.**